HEALTH 3 – How I overcame a trauma

When we got to a spot where we needed to part ways, I bid him goodbye and headed my way, Nelson stood on that spot were we had parted ways, I could still remember the shirt and trouser he was putting on , and the look on his face, He called my name and the minute I turned back he said, ” Gift, I love you”. That single word of his broke me, immediately he said that ,I hugged him , then he left.

I waited for him to return from his journey, I committed my whole being into the relationship and promise to make it work. Damn!  This boy truly loves me and truth be told, I loved him with passion.
Few days after his return, he traveled again and still waited for him. After his return the second time,  I decided to go home.

The minute I left school,  everything changed,  he was no longer giving me the attention he used to. Nelson became very busy, he would even sleep off when we are having a conversation on whatsapp and wouldn’t even apologize, this same Nelson?  He will never do that, whenever he was chatting with me and starts feeling sleepy,  he will always notify me before sleeping off so we can continue the conversation the next day. Infact sleeping off on me became his new habit and he doesn’t even feel sorry about it.

We continued with so much disagreement and quarrel that I started feeling unhappy, it was more like I was forcing myself on  him. Everything had changed,  then I made up my mind to finally leave him. I was the girlfriend that no one knows he is dating while he flaunts the other lady. I was too heart broken ,  I saw how much I allowed myself in such mess. Is this how love is?  Do I deserve this from him? Can I cope without him? Those were the questions I asked myself until I finally decided to leave him as I was already loosing my mind,  it was  as  if he was tormenting me emotionally and psychologically. I finally summoned the courage to leave.

Nelson didn’t seem he even wants the relationship to work. I was only an option to him. If I tell you it was easy,  I would be lying. It just seem like he took part of me and left with it.

After the break up, I was upset with him that I had to cut ties with him, we didnt speak for sometime but I decided to forgive and move on,  he still continued with the other girl, It’s been six years now and it seem like yesterday,  he finally married the other lady.

I remembered I told him he can’t love two women at the same time because a time will come when he will have to choose. I thought about this, plus the fact that he doesn’t even introduce me to anyone as his girlfriend because his family and friends know the other girl friend, the pain of knowing this make me more heart broken  which made me leave.

I simply left the relationship for my sanity

Always know the part or role you play in people’s life. Don’t force yourself on people and never serve as an option to anyone. Once you see the red signals, leave as soon as possible hence you might find out too late in the middle of an ocean. To be emotionally and psychologically drained is worse than suffering from fever.

Now let’s talk, 
1) What would Gift have done the minute she found out about the other girl?
2) Do you think she would have bear and try to see if it will work finally?
3) Do you agree with her view of ” a man cannot love two women at same time”?
4) If you’re Gift,  what will you do?

1 comment

  1. This Love …we would never fully understand it,our head knows one thing but the heart keeps insisting on another… glad u were able to break out las las….it's possible he loved u,but loved the other lady also,the heart is a fickle thing…

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