Today on let’s talk, Jessica will be sharing her experience with her roommates while in school
It was my first year in school (polytechnic), I was so excited that I was finally in school and would be called a big girl. I didn’t actually resumed on time because my name came out late. But another issue was, I couldn’t afford to pay for my accommodation because my parents were not able to raise any money. I called a neighbour(Philip) who had attended that same school before about my accommodation issue, Philip was also the one that followed me to write the entrance exam, we stayed in one of his friend’s house during the exam, it was this friend of his that Philip called and told him about me, Philip’s friend called and told his girl friend about my plight, so the girlfriend (Martha) of Philip’s friend said I could live with her for couple of weeks.
When I resumed (on a weekend), Martha took me to her place. the minute I told her the department I was admitted into, she took me to a boy called Tom. Tom was also in same department as I but had resumed school on time. When Tom saw me, he smiled, he asked for my name, and when he knew I was same tribe as him, he became happier. Tom said I had missed alot as lecture started months ago. He showed me some notes he had jotted down during lecture, from that day onward, we became friends.
Martha had a room mate called Aisha before I joined them, so we became three living in a single room. We lived like sisters and I was so happy.
Few weeks after I resumed, my school did its matriculation, my parents or any body I knew didn’t attend because of their financial state then but my room mate’s parents and others they know came for their matriculation, when their parents saw me, they asked who I was, my room mates explained that I was to stay with them for some time till I get my own apartment. Martha and Aisha’s parent suggested that, they should allow me live with them instead, suggesting that I will later pay part of the rent.
After their parents had left, they called me and told me about the new development, so I agreed. They told me the amount they paid for the rent, we shared it into three parts so I will know the exact amount I will balance them later. But the part they didn’t tell me was when I intend paying the money.
After the matriculation, first semester exam time table was out and I was yet to pay my school fees, I forgot to mention I was in morning session while both of them were in spat(afternoon session) so my exams always comes up before theirs.
My dad had given my school fees to an uncle of mine before now, but something happened that the money could not be accounted for.
I called my parents and told them about the school’s management decision in depriving those that are yet to pay their school fees from writing the exams. My dad was so worried, he had to start looking for money immediately so as to pay my fees, as God would have it, someone agreed to borrow my dad the money.
When my dad sent the money, my room mate were shocked, at same time they actually acted like they were happy that I finally paid my fees but I never knew what was running through their minds.
Few days after I paid my school fees, they called me, the question they asked was ” when are you balancing us your part of the house rent “? I told them I would call to inform my dad and get back to them. I called my dad to inform him of the new development, my dad told me to plead with them that they should give him some time as he would pay the money soon. I called my room mates together and pleaded with them as my dad had instructed but I got the shock of my life. My room mates said ” we need our money now, if your dad could provide your school fees immediately, it means he can also provide our money immediately “. I was short of words, I was wondering, so this was the reason they put up that face the other time. I called my dad again and told him, he said I should focus on my studiesl and not get worried that he would pay.
Before now, whenever my dad send me money (pocket money) I will make sure I tell them but overotime, I noticed that, when I don’t have money, they start behaving strange. They buy clothes from the money they send to them from home and drop the left over to be used at home for food while I on the other hand don’t buy anything. So I started acting like them, whenever my dad sends me money, I keep half to use for myself and show them half. Whenever we needed to cook, we calculate the things we need, share the money into three parts and each of us drops our own part.
Now, back to the rent issue, they disturbed the hell out of me, at a time, I started losing my peace, because of them, I started going home late. Did I mention I had a boy friend whose name was Iyke. Iyke was there for me, he tried raising the money for me but couldn’t since he was also a student.
After sometime, I paid them the money which was later sent by my dad, it was later I discovered that their parents were the ones who engineered them because I later found out from my mum that Martha’s mum called her to even insult her, asking her if she thinks their daughter(me) is living in the house for free, my mum told her they will pay the money soon, my mum didn’t tell me because she doesn’t want me to have problems with my room mates.
After, I paid the money, Martha and Aisha became ashamed, because they didn’t expect that I would pay the money when I actually paid it, they later apologized for the stress they made me go through. I looked at them, within me, I said “you’re only apologizing because I have paid the money “, nevetheless, I forgave them and we started living normal again. Not quite long, I wrote my first semester exam and went home for holidays.
I resumed after a month for the second semester, this time, my room mates had written their exams and gone home (remember I said they were in spat while I was in the morning session). I stayed alone for about two weeks before they resumed and joined me. When they resumed, they came with so many food stuffs, I was surprised. I on the other hand had eaten part of the food stuff I brought to school, though not much.
The truth is, I don’t eat much, Aisha eats like a man so maybe that was why they brought so much food stuffs. After sometime, almost all the food stuff were exhausted, it was close to my second semester exam, I was completely broke, I called my dad, but he didn’t send any money because he was broke as well. My room mate as usual started hiding their money from me. When a meal is to be prepared, they as usual calculate the money needed, share into three part and asked each of us to bring our parts. I was sincere to them that I didn’t had any dime on me, they would grumble but later cook for us all. Sometimes I don’t go close to the pot of food except they ask me to. Things became worse as I no longer had peace in that house, they kept reminding me how I don’t drop a dime yet I eat at home. I stopped eating their food and stopped living with them to avoid trouble, the only thing I do was, bath and have my cloth changed there after I go to school, from school I go straight to my boy friend’s house till the next day, it became my routine. I forgot to mention that when I resumed school, I fell ill two weeks later and after that I was always falling sick cus of the water.
During the rains, I bath with cold one day and almost lost my live, the cold penetrated through my whole system and because of that, I started bathing with hot water, they were aware of my condition but still complained I was wasting kerosene. I resulted to opening my new stove I had brought from home, I bought kerosene and starts using that stove for boiling water alone to bath. Guess what? They were still using that stove that has little quantity of kerosene in it. My boy friend’s house became my house till the first session(year one) was over. I rented my own apartment and lived alone during my second year in school.
HOW I HANDLED IT.
There were so many things I went through that I didn’t mention here but I knew all they want was to frustrate me and I refused to be frustrated. Staying too long in a boy’s house is not actually ideal, but since I had peace there. I was always at my boy friend’s house because I didn’t wanted to be pushed to the extent of fighting with someone.
If I have my way, non of my siblings will live with anyone, its best if they live alone. I will also urge parents to do the same if they could afford to pay their children’s rent in school. If your child in school lived alone and doesn’t have money, he or she doesn’t need to explain to anyone. He or she can always manage and scale through, but when someone else is involved, they will always feel you have money and trying to hide it or see you as a burden.
Now let’s talk,
1) Do you blame Martha and Aisha for their actions?
2) Was staying at her boy friend’s place a good decision for Jessica?
3) What will be your reaction if you’re Jessica?